The unknown, as I covered in a previous article, is often met with suspicion and avoidance. To counter that dark and unforeseeable realm, we often flee to the other extreme of illumination – blindingly so. However, there is a sweet spot worth considering, nestled cozily in the middle: the gray area.
But to shed some light on this gray area, we have to look at what it is by seeing what flanks it. It’s between control and chaos, manage and neglect, lead and follow. And resting peacefully in the middle is to embrace or uncover, to find a few sufficient verbs.
None of these arenas are entirely negative. Sometimes, it’s necessary to take control or to lead. Other times, it’s necessary to neglect, walk away, or follow. And yet, the greatest indicator to an unhealthy extreme is whether it is proactive or reactive.
When we react to something spontaneous – or at least to us it appears spontaneous – we tend to overreact. Avoid the cliff and fall back into the woodchipper. However, if we can be more proactive, training our minds to embrace or uncover rather than control or neglect, we’ll be more adaptable to the everchanging world we live in.
So, let’s look more at what it means to embrace or uncover. In order to embrace something, you need to act. You are choosing to embrace and so it is active. Yet, you are embracing something that has uncontrollably come to you and so there is an element of chaos. Likewise, there is conscious decision involved in uncovering while at the same time what you are uncovering is unknown and so it is also well outside of your control.
I recently had a sudden and viciously painful muscle-pull, one so debilitating it sent me to the ER. I instinctively wanted to control my body, manage the pain, and see results. However, my predicament sent my head spinning and ears ringing so making decisions wasn’t in the cards. I could have laid there on the couch, neglecting the injury and relegating myself to the hope that something positive would happen. Neither scenario was going to help me. Instead, I embraced the situation. Okay, I’m in crippling pain, but my wife is home, we have a car and health insurance, and there is a hospital down the street. Let’s maneuver within my ability to the car and have her drive me to some medical attention.
By the end of that day, lying in bed with movement limited distinctly by sharp pains, I felt helpless and angry. The helplessness came from one end of the spectrum and the anger came from the other. When I had calmed myself and reflected in the silence, I made the choice to embrace my experience and uncover the potential. There were webinar videos I needed to watch which I now suddenly had the time to tackle. There was some reading I hadn’t previously given priority to due to all of the other things I could have been doing. And so, when I embraced where I was and uncovered what could be, it was from this gray area between extremes that I was able to see reality in a different, more fulfilling and productive way.
And so can you. In microbursts, throughout the day, pause and reflect on what you can embrace or uncover right there in the present. Train your mind. It will become more natural. Eventually, whether there’s fifty shades of it or not, somewhere in gray is where you’ll find your best self.
But to shed some light on this gray area, we have to look at what it is by seeing what flanks it. It’s between control and chaos, manage and neglect, lead and follow. And resting peacefully in the middle is to embrace or uncover, to find a few sufficient verbs.
None of these arenas are entirely negative. Sometimes, it’s necessary to take control or to lead. Other times, it’s necessary to neglect, walk away, or follow. And yet, the greatest indicator to an unhealthy extreme is whether it is proactive or reactive.
When we react to something spontaneous – or at least to us it appears spontaneous – we tend to overreact. Avoid the cliff and fall back into the woodchipper. However, if we can be more proactive, training our minds to embrace or uncover rather than control or neglect, we’ll be more adaptable to the everchanging world we live in.
So, let’s look more at what it means to embrace or uncover. In order to embrace something, you need to act. You are choosing to embrace and so it is active. Yet, you are embracing something that has uncontrollably come to you and so there is an element of chaos. Likewise, there is conscious decision involved in uncovering while at the same time what you are uncovering is unknown and so it is also well outside of your control.
I recently had a sudden and viciously painful muscle-pull, one so debilitating it sent me to the ER. I instinctively wanted to control my body, manage the pain, and see results. However, my predicament sent my head spinning and ears ringing so making decisions wasn’t in the cards. I could have laid there on the couch, neglecting the injury and relegating myself to the hope that something positive would happen. Neither scenario was going to help me. Instead, I embraced the situation. Okay, I’m in crippling pain, but my wife is home, we have a car and health insurance, and there is a hospital down the street. Let’s maneuver within my ability to the car and have her drive me to some medical attention.
By the end of that day, lying in bed with movement limited distinctly by sharp pains, I felt helpless and angry. The helplessness came from one end of the spectrum and the anger came from the other. When I had calmed myself and reflected in the silence, I made the choice to embrace my experience and uncover the potential. There were webinar videos I needed to watch which I now suddenly had the time to tackle. There was some reading I hadn’t previously given priority to due to all of the other things I could have been doing. And so, when I embraced where I was and uncovered what could be, it was from this gray area between extremes that I was able to see reality in a different, more fulfilling and productive way.
And so can you. In microbursts, throughout the day, pause and reflect on what you can embrace or uncover right there in the present. Train your mind. It will become more natural. Eventually, whether there’s fifty shades of it or not, somewhere in gray is where you’ll find your best self.