If the buzzword of 2020 was “burnout,” then as we round out 2021 the word of this year has to be “mindfulness.” It was a natural cause-and-effect from the pandemic and had many positive side-effects. Mindfulness is really all about grounding oneself in the present. That’s all. Despite its recent popularity, it’s been around for thousands of years. And while this may sound like a bit of a rant, I’m frankly tired of people confusing mindfulness with coaching.
Mindfulness is a wonderful tool for one to have in their toolbox. It’s like a hammer. No toolbox would be considered complete without one. And yet, what I want to talk to you about is not the tool of 2021, but rather the toolbox itself as that seems to have become somewhat neglected with all the buzz around the hammer of emotional and mental health.
If I had a loose screw that needed tightening or a rough wooden edge that needed sanding, I wouldn’t reach for a hammer. And equally, mindfulness isn’t the silver bullet it’s been branded as – solving all of life’s problems. So, before we – as a society – burnout from mindfulness, let’s consider the broader toolbox.
As a coach, I utilize many tools in my practice. There’s an exercise that helps you explore your core values which are, in a sense, your North Star – the central values to who you are that never change over the course of your life. There’s an exercise that helps you discover your Why which is the unique lens through which you see the world and by better understanding how the way you see the world impacts your beliefs and behavior, it has a liberating effect. There are ways to uncover your individual strengths as well as unconscious saboteurs. I’ve even created an exercise for exploring unconscious narratives to reveal their impact on you, get closure on their antiquated value for your present life, and intentionally design the future you want to live into.
All of these tools – and many more – are essential to effective coaching on an individual, triadic, team, or organizational level. But what do all of these, including mindfulness, have in common? They’re all designed to help you know yourself on a deeper, more holistic level than you’ve ever felt. Like dust accumulating layer after layer over the years, as time passes, we often seem to know ourselves less and less. Part of this is because advertisements and social media tell us what we “should” like or strive to be; and part of this is because life forces us to adapt over time to a variety of situations. And the further we get from truly knowing ourselves – the good, the bad, and the ugly – the less fulfilled we become.
Coaching – for me – is all about developing and rebuilding the most important relationship in your life: the one with yourself. And so, before we further dilute the value of coaching, mindfulness, well-being, and all those other terms that have become the darlings of publications, webinars, and speeches, let’s put into perspective the complexity of the mind. Don’t get swept up in the one-size-fits-all snake oil and Kool-Aid in which mindfulness has become the newest bright shiny object. It’s more complex than that because you are more complex than that. You can’t focus on well-being without acknowledging the unique human being. And while mindfulness is an essential and foundational tool in coaching, it’s one of many. You wouldn’t want a contractor whose only tool was a hammer working on your home any more than you should want a coach whose only tool was mindfulness working on your life. If you just want mindfulness, find the right yogi. If you want more fulfilment, clarity, sense of purpose, or alignment of values in your career and life, find the right coach.
The world is an ever-changing and complicated place. It’s not about better understanding your environment to better adapt to it; it’s about better understanding yourself to better change it.
Mindfulness is a wonderful tool for one to have in their toolbox. It’s like a hammer. No toolbox would be considered complete without one. And yet, what I want to talk to you about is not the tool of 2021, but rather the toolbox itself as that seems to have become somewhat neglected with all the buzz around the hammer of emotional and mental health.
If I had a loose screw that needed tightening or a rough wooden edge that needed sanding, I wouldn’t reach for a hammer. And equally, mindfulness isn’t the silver bullet it’s been branded as – solving all of life’s problems. So, before we – as a society – burnout from mindfulness, let’s consider the broader toolbox.
As a coach, I utilize many tools in my practice. There’s an exercise that helps you explore your core values which are, in a sense, your North Star – the central values to who you are that never change over the course of your life. There’s an exercise that helps you discover your Why which is the unique lens through which you see the world and by better understanding how the way you see the world impacts your beliefs and behavior, it has a liberating effect. There are ways to uncover your individual strengths as well as unconscious saboteurs. I’ve even created an exercise for exploring unconscious narratives to reveal their impact on you, get closure on their antiquated value for your present life, and intentionally design the future you want to live into.
All of these tools – and many more – are essential to effective coaching on an individual, triadic, team, or organizational level. But what do all of these, including mindfulness, have in common? They’re all designed to help you know yourself on a deeper, more holistic level than you’ve ever felt. Like dust accumulating layer after layer over the years, as time passes, we often seem to know ourselves less and less. Part of this is because advertisements and social media tell us what we “should” like or strive to be; and part of this is because life forces us to adapt over time to a variety of situations. And the further we get from truly knowing ourselves – the good, the bad, and the ugly – the less fulfilled we become.
Coaching – for me – is all about developing and rebuilding the most important relationship in your life: the one with yourself. And so, before we further dilute the value of coaching, mindfulness, well-being, and all those other terms that have become the darlings of publications, webinars, and speeches, let’s put into perspective the complexity of the mind. Don’t get swept up in the one-size-fits-all snake oil and Kool-Aid in which mindfulness has become the newest bright shiny object. It’s more complex than that because you are more complex than that. You can’t focus on well-being without acknowledging the unique human being. And while mindfulness is an essential and foundational tool in coaching, it’s one of many. You wouldn’t want a contractor whose only tool was a hammer working on your home any more than you should want a coach whose only tool was mindfulness working on your life. If you just want mindfulness, find the right yogi. If you want more fulfilment, clarity, sense of purpose, or alignment of values in your career and life, find the right coach.
The world is an ever-changing and complicated place. It’s not about better understanding your environment to better adapt to it; it’s about better understanding yourself to better change it.